Paul Ryan Transformation Act

Let’s face it, Paul Ryan is a Goblin. No, not metaphorically, he IS a stinkin’ goblin.

While interviewed off camera he had some interesting things to say. “Back in my homeland of Goblinia, we don’t have healthcare issues. If anyone gets sick or hurt, we just eat them for dinner. The middle class? Ha. There is no middle class, we just have slave owners and slaves, which makes for no social strife. I think that the United States of America is ready for the brand of leadership that I have to offer.”

Ryan had the wherewithal to realize that he could never be elected to anything in the USA with his Goblin looks, so he got some cosmetic surgery to alter his appearance. Unfortunately, we can’t interview the plastic surgeon who did the work, because Ryan ate him.

Paul Ryan immediately prior to his cosmetic surgery. Notice the common goblin traits of green skin, pointy ears, foul grin, and predatory gaze with messed up yellow eyes? After meeting with with a surgeon, it was decided that it all had to go. Ryan still reeks by the way. All that helps is a suit made of car freshener material.

This was how Paul Ryan looked a few months after the surgical removal of his Goblin ears and nose. He was also coached about how to avoid creepy smiles. He's still working on that one.

The surgeon performed a very painful skin treatment that took four procedures to complete the shift from green to caucasian. They couldn't fix Paul Ryan's yellow eyes and could only outfit him with blue contact lenses. The final step was to lighten his skin a couple of shades. Notice that his creepy smile is also minimized?

The final step was to lighten the skin so that Paul Ryan looked like a regular white guy. In spite of how simple these photos look, it took nearly a year to make the transformation from Goblin to this, such as it is.

McNeil’s research is centered around the transformation act, mostly associated with black birds, but Goblins sometimes make the scene too.

Transformation story by Larry McNeil, All Rights Reserved, 2012

    One Response to “Paul Ryan Transformation Act”

  1. October 12, 2012 | Reply
    Evelyn Vanderhoop says:

    Larry I think the final stage should of included his Newman sideways smirk. These slick politicians are scary enough, looking at them green will give me nightmares. I hope the 99% don’t get fooled by these smooth, forked tongued creatures.

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